When visiting friends, I am notorious for leaving my clothes behind. Despite my stubborn determination to stop doing this, it happened again last weekend when I left my coat behind at a vacation house. After a day or two, I was contacted by the shadowy group that was holding my coat hostage. An anonymous e-mail arrived with a brief message:
And then, later that day:
I had no choice but to comply with this totally unreasonable request. Chris, a nice waiter at Melting Pot helped me out. (He preferred the arms-under hugging position.)
I hoped that this would appease the hostage takers.
Excellent! I can practically feel the angel-soft microsuede of my beloved coat back in my arms.
Hug a MAILBOX? How could I possibly comply? I don’t have a mailbox! In a panic, I ran through the streets of Concord, MA desperately searching for help. Thank the sweet lord, I came upon a post office where some very nice women took my picture:
You’ll notice that I’m wearing my backup coat in this picture.
These bastards aren’t easy to please…
YES! The Exchange would be imminent. That same night, I was blindfolded and led to a dark room where I handed over a package of Hershey’s Hugs. At long last, I got my beloved brown coat back, completely unharmed. I’ll never again leave an article of clothing behind!