IMNOTQUITEJACK

Appeasing the Hostage Takers

When visiting friends, I am notorious for leaving my clothes behind.  Despite my stubborn determination to stop doing this, it happened again last weekend when I left my coat behind at a vacation house.  After a day or two, I was contacted by the shadowy group that was holding my coat hostage.  An anonymous e-mail arrived with a brief message:

And then, later that day:

Interesting… Then:

I had no choice but to comply with this totally unreasonable request.  Chris, a nice waiter at Melting Pot helped me out.  (He preferred the arms-under hugging position.)

I hoped that this would appease the hostage takers.

Excellent!  I can practically feel the angel-soft microsuede of my beloved coat back in my arms.

Hug a MAILBOX?  How could I possibly comply?  I don’t have a mailbox!  In a panic, I ran through the streets of Concord, MA desperately searching for help.  Thank the sweet lord, I came upon a post office where some very nice women took my picture:

You’ll notice that I’m wearing my backup coat in this picture.

These bastards aren’t easy to please…

YES!  The Exchange would be imminent.  That same night, I was blindfolded and led to a dark room where I handed over a package of Hershey’s Hugs.  At long last, I got my beloved brown coat back, completely unharmed.  I’ll never again leave an article of clothing behind!

  1. imnotquitejack posted this